Global On Magazine: October 2009

So You Think You Can Dance?

Who the FUCK is Cat Deeley's stylist?

This stunning 6-foot blonde with a body and legs to die for, is always dressed in the most hideous outfits!! Does anyone else agree with me?

All I can say is - WTF???

Are they just jealous of her timeless beauty?

Dear So You Think You Can Dance Producers

Fire Cat Deely's Stylist with IMMEDIATE effect.

Your Wardrobe Team never fail on a bi-weekly basis to make one of the most gorgeous and charismatic personalities on reality TV look absolutely fucking ridiculous!

What are you thinking?

You ALWAYS seem to fuck it up.

Annoyed at yer constant cock-ups

I'd do Cat Deelyin a fucking heart-beat

Dedicated Follower of Fashion?

I am most certainly NOT a dedicated follower of fashion. I stick to the classic timeless stuff that never goes out of fashion. I definintely don't follow the seasonal changes in the trends. Besides my budget does not keep up with the rapid modifications.In my opinion, the fashion lately is a Shopaholic’s Nightmare! There is some fugly stuff going on this season. Have the style guru's run out of ideas?Here's some things I think NO ONE should have in their cupboard EVA!Fugly Gladiator SandalsWTF? These are the ugliest things since doubling up on your shoulder pads in the 80's. Kankles are in??? No thank you.

Harem Pants

Who on earth wants to walk around looking like you've shat in yer nappy?

Leave them for Ali Baba and with any luck his 40 thieves will nick them

High Waist Trousers

They make even the skinnest people look chunky.

Clashing Animal Prints

Not even flattering on Sharon Slutty Stone

Fedoras

Leave them for gangsta mafia costumer parties and Humphry Bogart

Jumpsuits

Saturday Night Fever Disco Funk is so UnFly

Puffy Bubble Skirts

Didnt they learn ANYTHING from the 80s?

Round Sunglasses

Hello? John Lennon is D-E-A-D peeps.

Massive Flower Accessories

Flower Power was the 60's!

Bloomin' fugly...not cute at all

Tell me what you think.

What do you like or dislike that is "in fashion" at the moment?

Crossover to the Desperate Camper

My Camping T-shirt"What Happens in the Tent, stays in the Tent"

Megan's Eye

After Megan being so ill last week with Strep Throat and battling with her very high fevers, she developed an eye infection which was very stubborn but we eventually cleared it up. However, the blood vessels in her eye were damaged from her high temperatures and it looks terrible. It is healing, albei very slowly, but it still looks so painful.Megan says its not sore at all, but I can't help but feel sorry for her everytime I look at her.My wee trooper

Simply Slim - Two Week Update

Just a quick update on my weight loss.

I have been on the Simply Slim Slimming Capsule for two weeks today and I've lost 4.1kg already.

Its been very successful. I have loads of energy, I have no side affects (and I'm getting used to the dry mouth and having to drink water all day) and I sleep like the dead at night.

Lets Offend Everyone

Covering all the possibilities...What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ? The position of the dirt bag.Why is divorce so expensive?Because it's worth it. What do you call a smart blonde?A golden retriever.What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities.What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 20 kgs. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes.What's the fastest way to a man's heart? Through his chest with a sharp instrument. Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in grade 7. Who has the biggest boobs?The 18 year old blonde. What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? 'Are you sure it's mine?' Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Boobs don't have eyes.What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment. What's the difference between a South African zoo and an English zoo?A South African zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say FUCK!?Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiit...' Why is there no Disneyland in China ?No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

Be Who You Are

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

Goodies I miss from Scotland

Terry's Chocolate Orange

Jaffa Cakes

Maltesers

Fish and Chips from the local Chippy

(in newspaper of course)

Penguin Biscuits

Scots Shortbread

and of course

Scots Pie with gravy and mushy peas

Spits vs Splits

Boy did we giggle last night!!! My Boerewors, Megan, Kaylin and I were all sitting on the bed last night and I asked Megan if she can do the splits. Megan gets up off the bed and procedures to do a pretty good effort and almost made it into a full split.Riaan turns to Kaylin (my three year old) and says: "Kaylin can you do the Splits?"Kaylin smirks and nods...and spits in Riaan's general direction.I guess she didn't know what "the splits" meant....we were howling with laughter!!! Kaylin's such a great sport, she joined in the laughter...

Friends

We had a braai (aka barbeque) at Norman's house on Saturday and Dirk whipped out his camera and took some shots of us being silly.Friends

My gorgeous girls

KK and her mum

Feeling Percy's Leg

Beautiful Mandy

Megan looking very sad

Megan in her element with Sheba

Giving a pose

Megan and Sheba

Gorgeous Melanie

Mel

Natasha

Percy

Sam

Shaun and Mel

Tammy

KK on the trampoline

Megan

KK enjoying her burger

Mandy and Mel

Wilderness Weekend - What Happens in the Tent Stays in the Tent

Off camping this weekend!I just can't wait because I really need this little break. Its been a hectic and stressful couple of weeks, at home and at work. Its also going to be the first time in a good few years that all our camping group members are all going to be together at the same time in one place. Lots of catching up to do.I am taking Friday afternoon off and leaving early...will take loads of pix.Some Camping Tools

and just a little joke thrown in for good measure.

My Beautiful Girls

Hail to the Freaks of Nature

We had quite a thunderstorm at lunch time today and it was quite a sight to see. The large rain drops turned into hail and we had a bit of fun playing.A bowl of hail

Coming down in our front yard

Beginnings of the little balls of ice

As the hail hit the water in our swimming pool, it churned the water and steam started to rise from the pool. It was facinating to watch.

Riaan got out the rake and collected some hail together

so the girls could make some hail-balls to throw in the air.

Throwing the hail in the air and watching in splatter.

Great Fun!

(Megan has an eye patch on because she has a very bad eye infection)

Daddy had some fun too.

Global On Magazine