Topic - What's in your makeup bag
Do you really wanna know?
*WARNING! You may just shit a rainbow with excitement watching this video post*
Do you really wanna know?
*WARNING! You may just shit a rainbow with excitement watching this video post*
Year End Function
Day 9 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge
I heart shopping and lately I have really enjoyed buying little summer dresses. I'm normally a "shorts n t-shirts" kinda lassie but I'm enjoying only having to think about pulling ONE item of clothing on in the mornings.
Here's my latest purchase from Truworths.
Its my little black boob tube dress
Here's my latest purchase from Truworths.
Its my little black boob tube dress
The porcelain pendant I won from Kim Gray. I love it!
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| Loaded Fries from KFC was supper. No wonder my ass is just like my personality; huge and in yer face. |
Day 8 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge
Topic - A song to match your mood
Most of you know that I love my music and so it is difficult to pick ONE song that matches my mood. But since I can remember, I've been secretly (okay its not a secret anymore) in love with Bono aka Paul Hewson from U2.
As a teenager I had all their LPs and used to play them until they were scratched to all hell. I know all the words to most of their songs (especially the earlier records) and love to belt it out dueting with Bono in my car.
Bono is Sex On Legs (you can't dispute it), he's hot, I think he has a brilliant voice (when he sings and when he talks), I think his band is incredibly talented and rockin'. He does great work for charity helping to raise money to end hunger, poverty and disease, especially in Africa. He's been married to his high school sweetheart for decades, which is rare in the entertainment industry.
Bono just seems like an all-round good guy. He's now heading into his 50's and boy, he still makes my knees wobble. He's just seems to get sexier with age - like an old fine wine - Blanc De Dublin Bono.
Enjoy him is all his AWESOMENESS!
Most of you know that I love my music and so it is difficult to pick ONE song that matches my mood. But since I can remember, I've been secretly (okay its not a secret anymore) in love with Bono aka Paul Hewson from U2.
As a teenager I had all their LPs and used to play them until they were scratched to all hell. I know all the words to most of their songs (especially the earlier records) and love to belt it out dueting with Bono in my car.
Bono is Sex On Legs (you can't dispute it), he's hot, I think he has a brilliant voice (when he sings and when he talks), I think his band is incredibly talented and rockin'. He does great work for charity helping to raise money to end hunger, poverty and disease, especially in Africa. He's been married to his high school sweetheart for decades, which is rare in the entertainment industry.
Bono just seems like an all-round good guy. He's now heading into his 50's and boy, he still makes my knees wobble. He's just seems to get sexier with age - like an old fine wine - Blanc De Dublin Bono.
Enjoy him is all his AWESOMENESS!
U2 is an original species... there are colours and feelings and emotional terrain that we occupy that is ours and ours alone - Bono
Day 7 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge
Topic : Your dream wedding
My wedding was my dream wedding. Yeah, I know it sounds cheesy. But it was perfect! I had the perfect dress, my Boerewors surprised everyone by wearing a kilt. The service was awesome and the party was killer! 11 years later I wouldn't change a thing...
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| Yip he wore the kilt the traditional way..(much to my surprise) |
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| My dad and I in the limo just before the services |
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| The dancing |
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| The Dress |
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| The Cake |
Day 6 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge
Topic : A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet
I want a Wallabie. Cutest little Furry Bastards, Eva!
Did you know....Wallabies can be trained to live indoors, but beware: these affectionate, playful creatures have the ability to open cupboards, jump on counters and other high places. They are known to enjoy taking a bath with human owners (no fucking chance of that happening in my house) and may turn the bedroom into his or her sleeping quarters, if not properly trained. I will by one fully house trained, thank you very much!
Did you know...young wallabies are called joeys, and both males and females will want to play-box. Hey! A spaing partner and you don't even have to go to the gym!!!
They're cuddly and they'll keep yer grass nice and short. Low maintenance gardener! Bonus!
Who needs fucking cat who does nothing much but lay around all fucking day, shedding cat hair that makes me itch and sneeze. I'm trading Pickles in for a Wally!
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| This Wallaby can be the wee guy for Freaky Friday |
Join me and G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55. Try writing a complete story in only 55 words.
My Wallaby’s is cute and furry
And first lived in Mummy’s pouch
He then learned to leap and jump
Now he lounges on my couch
Sometimes he searches for grass to nibble
And spends lots of time doing this
He talks by thumping on the floor
And I have to clean up his piss.
Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM
Fuck You to bad Aussie Accents
Fuck You to bad vlogging
I think I'll leave vlogging to the experts.
Day 4 - The 30 Day Blog Challenge
Topic : A Picture of You Two Years Ago
Here's The Daft Scots Lass two years ago all dressed up to go to my office function. The theme was Italian Icons and I went as a Ferrari Pit Babe.
I had just lost 15kgs and was so proud of myself. You can read the post HERE and see some more pictures of what everyone else went as.
It was a rockin' party. Wish I was that skinny again!
Here's The Daft Scots Lass two years ago all dressed up to go to my office function. The theme was Italian Icons and I went as a Ferrari Pit Babe.
I had just lost 15kgs and was so proud of myself. You can read the post HERE and see some more pictures of what everyone else went as.
It was a rockin' party. Wish I was that skinny again!
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| Don't NOT mention ANYTHING about Camel Toe! |
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| My Best Friend, Mandy and I doing what we do best. Relaxing in the pool under the South African sun with a glass of wine or five... |
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| All my amazing girlfriends, when we finally got everyone together in the same country! (two years ago) |
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| They don't call me Daft for nothin' |
A Day in My Life - Day 1 of The 30 Day Blog Challenge
Topic : My Typical Weekday
6am : I'm usually woken up by my 4 year old girl-child by her yelling "Wakin' up time, Mum!" about 2 inches from my face. She climbs in the bed and we cuddle and chat.
6:10 Get up and go to the kitchen to make school lunches and breakfast for the girls. General tidying up and dishes from the night before.
6:30 Megan normally shuffles through to the lounge to watch cartoons through one eye and drag her school uniform on painfully slowly. Meg is NOT a morning person and hates to be rushed first thing in the morning. She is ultra grumpy and I just leave her until she's been awake for at least half an hour before even thinking of talk to her.
6:40 I switch on my laptop, moderate comments on my blog and published the scheduled post for the day and if I have time do a wee bit of reading.
6:50 I get dressed, brush my hair, teeth, paint my face in amongst nagging the girls to brush their hair, brush their teeth, get their school bags ready, stop fighting, stop terrorising the cat, stop jumping on the bed, stop screaming, etc. etc..
7:20 I yell at top volume: "Is everyone ready to go? I'm leaving with or without you". I usually get a YES! but sometimes its just another final reminder of what I've asked them to do before we hop in the car.
7:30 We load all our junk in the car, it always looks like we're departing on a fucking long weekend with all the baggage we have. School bags, sports bags, lap top bag, handbag, lunch boxes, lunch bags, toys...
7:40 Drop Meg at primary school and drive to Kaylin's school, all the while being told which songs to play on the DVD player by KK. We like our driving music loud, okay? Usually rock music to bang our heads to.
8:00 Drop Kaylin at nursery school and either kiss her goodbye calmly and blow kisses or have to deal with crying, sobbing, screaming and the teacher prying her out of my arms. KK screaching "Don't Go, Mummy!" at the top of her lungs, with dramatic arms outstretched...
8:10 Get to work, half dead and have a morning smoke to inhale the quietness and prepare myself for yet another busy day. My work is very stressful and deadline driven. I'm in the media industry and work for a publication so everything is urgent and every day is a crisis. But I love it.
WORK WORK WORK WORK MORE WORK
until 4pm. I then switch off my computer and head to Kaylin's school to fetch her.
4:30 Get to Meg's after care and collect her.
4:40 On the way home in the car we chat about our day and share stories about what happened. When we get home, I check if Megan did all her homework at after care and do some reading and spelling with her.
4:50 Go outside on the patio for a smoke.
5:05 My Boerewors gets home and i'm usually starting supper or have at least taken something out of the freezer to prepare.
5:15 I usually switch my laptop on again to moderate the blogs day's comments and do a little blog reading while the supper is bubbling away...I spend time with the girls either chatting about their day or playing in the garden.
We usually eat supper together at about 6:30pm and watch a little telly afterwards.
7pm is bath time for the girls and by 7:30pm they are in their pj's and ready for bed.
8pm and Kaylin is usually sleeping and we watch more telly.
8:30pm Meg is usually sleeping and My Boerewors and I go out on to the porch and have another fag and a chat. We're early to bed people and usually in bed by 9pm or 9:30pm
Fucking boring, I know but thats a general week day.
Okay here's my first video I done - EVA!! Don't laugh okay I'm just getting started and it took me a few times to get this right and be happy with the ums and ahs and ers. At the end I thought, och Fuck it - Take it or leave it...
6am : I'm usually woken up by my 4 year old girl-child by her yelling "Wakin' up time, Mum!" about 2 inches from my face. She climbs in the bed and we cuddle and chat.
6:10 Get up and go to the kitchen to make school lunches and breakfast for the girls. General tidying up and dishes from the night before.
6:30 Megan normally shuffles through to the lounge to watch cartoons through one eye and drag her school uniform on painfully slowly. Meg is NOT a morning person and hates to be rushed first thing in the morning. She is ultra grumpy and I just leave her until she's been awake for at least half an hour before even thinking of talk to her.
6:40 I switch on my laptop, moderate comments on my blog and published the scheduled post for the day and if I have time do a wee bit of reading.
6:50 I get dressed, brush my hair, teeth, paint my face in amongst nagging the girls to brush their hair, brush their teeth, get their school bags ready, stop fighting, stop terrorising the cat, stop jumping on the bed, stop screaming, etc. etc..
7:20 I yell at top volume: "Is everyone ready to go? I'm leaving with or without you". I usually get a YES! but sometimes its just another final reminder of what I've asked them to do before we hop in the car.
7:30 We load all our junk in the car, it always looks like we're departing on a fucking long weekend with all the baggage we have. School bags, sports bags, lap top bag, handbag, lunch boxes, lunch bags, toys...
7:40 Drop Meg at primary school and drive to Kaylin's school, all the while being told which songs to play on the DVD player by KK. We like our driving music loud, okay? Usually rock music to bang our heads to.
8:00 Drop Kaylin at nursery school and either kiss her goodbye calmly and blow kisses or have to deal with crying, sobbing, screaming and the teacher prying her out of my arms. KK screaching "Don't Go, Mummy!" at the top of her lungs, with dramatic arms outstretched...
8:10 Get to work, half dead and have a morning smoke to inhale the quietness and prepare myself for yet another busy day. My work is very stressful and deadline driven. I'm in the media industry and work for a publication so everything is urgent and every day is a crisis. But I love it.
WORK WORK WORK WORK MORE WORK
until 4pm. I then switch off my computer and head to Kaylin's school to fetch her.
4:30 Get to Meg's after care and collect her.
4:40 On the way home in the car we chat about our day and share stories about what happened. When we get home, I check if Megan did all her homework at after care and do some reading and spelling with her.
4:50 Go outside on the patio for a smoke.
5:05 My Boerewors gets home and i'm usually starting supper or have at least taken something out of the freezer to prepare.
5:15 I usually switch my laptop on again to moderate the blogs day's comments and do a little blog reading while the supper is bubbling away...I spend time with the girls either chatting about their day or playing in the garden.
We usually eat supper together at about 6:30pm and watch a little telly afterwards.
7pm is bath time for the girls and by 7:30pm they are in their pj's and ready for bed.
8pm and Kaylin is usually sleeping and we watch more telly.
8:30pm Meg is usually sleeping and My Boerewors and I go out on to the porch and have another fag and a chat. We're early to bed people and usually in bed by 9pm or 9:30pm
Fucking boring, I know but thats a general week day.
Okay here's my first video I done - EVA!! Don't laugh okay I'm just getting started and it took me a few times to get this right and be happy with the ums and ahs and ers. At the end I thought, och Fuck it - Take it or leave it...
30 Day Blog Challenge
I figured that I would try it so that the few souls who read my blog regularly, can not only get to know The Daft Scots Lass a wee bit better, but also to share my thoughts and views on certain topics, which I actually haven't done on my blog for a while.
I feel my blog has taken a strange twist over the last 4 or 5 months - yes, I enjoy the new look blog, the new adult content, the no-holding-backing attitude thats always been within me, but I never showed it on the blog until recently. Before that my blog was about what I was doing, where I was going and my random ramblings..
I think for the next thirty days during the 30 Day Blog Challenge, I will show you a little more - something I've been missing for a while and perhaps you have missed too.
What types of questions are in store (och but you know me, guaranteed there probably will be a little twist on some of them):
Day 1 - A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.
Day 2 - A photo of something you ate today.
Day 3 - Your idea of the perfect first date.
Day 4 - Your favorite photograph of your best friend.
Day 5 - A photo of yourself two years ago.
Day 6 - A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet.
Day 7 - Your dream wedding.
Day 8 - A song to match your mood.
Day 9 - A photo of the item you last purchased.
Day 10 - A photo of your favourite place to eat.
Day 11 - What's in your makeup bag.
Day 12 - A photograph of the town you live in.
Day 13 - Your favorite musician and why?
Day 14 - A TV show you're currently addicted to.
Day 15 - Something you don't leave the house without.
Day 16 - Your celebrity crush.
Day 17 - A photo of you and your family.
Day 18 - Something you crave a lot.
Day 19 - Another picture of yourself.
Day 20 - The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 21 - A photo of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 23 - 15 facts about you.
Day 24 - A photo of something that means a lot to you.
Day 25 - What's in your purse?
Day 26 - A photo of somewhere you've been to.
Day 27 - A picture of you last year and now and how you changed since then?
Day 28 - Your favorite movie.
Day 29 - Something you could never get tired of doing.
Day 30 - A photograph of yourself today + three good things that have happened in the past 30 days.
I will start the 30 Day Blog Challenge tomorrow.
Best Hoaxes Eva!
55 Freaky Friday Shizzle - Office Christmas Parties
Join me and G-Man and hundreds of other bloggers playing Flash Fiction Friday 55. Try writing a complete story in only 55 words. I did this one in exactly 5.5 minutes (it shows but I left my Friday post far too late)…
I'm venting again this week with Boobies' Fawk You Friday.
Fuck you to the allergies that have infected my children's bodies this week. I have no Medical Aid (Medical Insurance) left until January and I have to pay the Doctor's fees cash upfront and its not frikken cheap! Neither is the fucking meds that he prescribes. Luckily, I can claim it all back from The Tax Man but only at the end of the tax year, Dipshit!
This made me think of one of my favourite Beatles songs..enjoy!
Are your Office Christmas parties as Freaky mine?
I dreads the office Christmas Party at the end of the year because there's always one Fucker who drinks way too many bevvies and lands up trying to put his tongue in yer ear. There's usually some Dooshbag who does a very unsexy strip-tease down to her nylon tights, flesh-coloured bra and parachute knickers. Not attractive...
There is always The Freaky Voyeur who parks in the dark corner like a drip snapping pictures and taking video footage of all the inebriated activities and then thinks its hysterical to post the footage on You Tube and images on Facebook for all to see.
There is always some sad Bitch who drinks too many margaritas and pours her heart to you - confessing her dark freaky secret and then you're supposed to look at her in the eye for the rest of the year. All of a sudden, you've become her BFF just because she told you her Twisted Sex Secret that she loves to be covered from head to toe in cling wrap in the bedroom.
Don't forget the asshole who requests Boney M from the DJ every half an hour. Is Christmas the ONLY time of year we dust off our Boney M LP's? Oh yeah, I know you've got one hiding in your collection too. Oh, I can hear you singing Little Drummer Boy already.... Barruppa Pum-Pum...
What about the old hag from Accounts, who is ninety-in-the-shade, who insist on wearing the most ridiculous and embarrassing home-made Christmas outfits complete with jingling bauble earings and living up to her "jolly" name? Ho Ho HO!
Are your office Christmas Parties like this?
Or is it just me that works for a bunch of fucking weirdos and freaks?
‘Tis almost the season to be jolly
Fa La La and all that folly
Christmas is full of prezzies and fun
Family, friends, dry Fruit Bun
We love the anticipation
We love the spirit
Eating ourselves silly on festive food, gerrit?
Santa, don’t give us junk we don’t want
Listen, and don’t be a cunt
I'm venting again this week with Boobies' Fawk You Friday.
Fuck you to the allergies that have infected my children's bodies this week. I have no Medical Aid (Medical Insurance) left until January and I have to pay the Doctor's fees cash upfront and its not frikken cheap! Neither is the fucking meds that he prescribes. Luckily, I can claim it all back from The Tax Man but only at the end of the tax year, Dipshit!
This made me think of one of my favourite Beatles songs..enjoy!
Freaky Friday
Theme : Freaky Office Christmas Parties
Theme : Freaky Office Christmas Parties
Are your Office Christmas parties as Freaky mine?
I dreads the office Christmas Party at the end of the year because there's always one Fucker who drinks way too many bevvies and lands up trying to put his tongue in yer ear. There's usually some Dooshbag who does a very unsexy strip-tease down to her nylon tights, flesh-coloured bra and parachute knickers. Not attractive...
There is always The Freaky Voyeur who parks in the dark corner like a drip snapping pictures and taking video footage of all the inebriated activities and then thinks its hysterical to post the footage on You Tube and images on Facebook for all to see.
There is always some sad Bitch who drinks too many margaritas and pours her heart to you - confessing her dark freaky secret and then you're supposed to look at her in the eye for the rest of the year. All of a sudden, you've become her BFF just because she told you her Twisted Sex Secret that she loves to be covered from head to toe in cling wrap in the bedroom.
Don't forget the asshole who requests Boney M from the DJ every half an hour. Is Christmas the ONLY time of year we dust off our Boney M LP's? Oh yeah, I know you've got one hiding in your collection too. Oh, I can hear you singing Little Drummer Boy already.... Barruppa Pum-Pum...
What about the old hag from Accounts, who is ninety-in-the-shade, who insist on wearing the most ridiculous and embarrassing home-made Christmas outfits complete with jingling bauble earings and living up to her "jolly" name? Ho Ho HO!
Are your office Christmas Parties like this?
Or is it just me that works for a bunch of fucking weirdos and freaks?
 |
| Slobbering Boss trying to tongue fuck your ear |
 |
| Wanna suck on Rudolf's Red Bits? |
 |
| Forget the Tree. Why don't you all gather around me this year? |
Go FlogYoBlog at Random Ramblings of a SAHM
What's that Smell? Oh yeah, its the Stench of Tyranny
.
| Get a farting guy! This FART Chart is also damn funny. |
Smell-O-Vision
In 1965, BBC TV played an April Fool's Day joke on their viewers. The network aired an "interview" with a man who had invented a new technology called "Smellovision" that allowed viewers at home to experience aromas produced in the television studio.
To demonstrate, the man chopped some onions and brewed a pot of coffee. Viewers called in to confirm that they had smelled the aromas that were "transmitted" through their television set. Oh the Tyranny of it all...
Aren't you glad they haven't invented Smellivision? Epsecially in the case of the Farting Idol.
Remember to pop in and visit The Daft Scots Lass for Half-Nekkid Thursday tomorrow.
See you then!
Kulula.com
One of our local airlines in South Africa is Kulula Airlines and they have such a brilliant advertising and marketing campaign with a great sense of local humour.
Their new planes even have brilliant branding "Flying 101" giving passengers a chance to obtain basic flying and aircraft knowledge. With these types of clued-up passengers, who needs a Pilot, right?
Very clever and educational...now everyone will know where the black box on an aircraft is.
Some of you "foreign" visitors might not "get" the silly South African humour as it is pretty much situationation stuff complete with "koogal accent".
This is an REAL recording of a Flight Demo with them. Excellent stuff!
This is a recording of their automated answering service when you call their
Customer Services line.
Suspected Measles at Home
Tampons vs pads....no, MOONCUP!
The battle of pads versus tampons is an age-old one but there is evidence that pads are better - especially while sleeping but there is another option that is THE BEST
The common denominator that plays a role is choice.
The common denominator that plays a role is choice.
The choice to move from pads to tampons is personal to most adult women and Nampak Lifestyle research studies show that this choice is often influenced by friends at school and siblings, rather than the way sanitary towels are introduced into a woman’s life, which is mostly influenced by mothers and grandmothers.
This influencing factor also has an impact on sanitary towel brand choice.
This influencing factor also has an impact on sanitary towel brand choice.
Using tampons: pros and cons
The tampon alternative does have its advantages, especially on those summer days when swimming and sports comes into play. However, these advantages have to be exercised with responsibility.
All tampons have instructions as to the frequency to which they have to be changed as there are severe adverse effects for not following the instructions to the letter.
Tampon use has the potential to change vaginal microflora
If abnormal bacteria are harboured in the vagina, menstrual blood which is accumulated inside the vagina above and within a tampon can act as a culture medium allowing micro-organisms to multiply, thereby promoting infection.
Another common concern is Toxic Shock Syndrome
Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a rare and potentially life-threatening illness, believed to be caused by infection with particular bacteria including Staphylococcus aureus and Streptococcus pyogenes. Menstruating women are most susceptible and it is thought that the infection is associated with tampon use.
The underlying mechanisms aren’t fully understood, but one theory is that the bacteria naturally present in the vagina can overpopulate in the presence of a blood-soaked tampon. However, one-third of menstruating women who develop toxic shock syndrome are found to have Staphylococcal bacteria already present in their vaginas.
The toxin produced by the bacteria that causes toxic shock syndrome, rather than the presence of the bacteria themselves. Staphylococcus aureus is a common type of bacterium that lives on the skin and inside the nose.
In most cases, it is harmless. However, it can cause a wide range of infections if it gains access to deeper tissue and the blood stream. For toxic shock syndrome to occur, particular strains of the bacteria must first overpopulate and produce large amounts of the toxic shock syndrome toxin as a by-product. Then, the toxin has to enter the bloodstream.
It is therefore important for woman to sleep with pads at night
Most women have at least six hours of sleep per day and those hours that you sleep with a tampon inside your body places your body in a very compromising state.
The Best Option - Mooncup
With the Mooncup Menstrual Cup, you do not have to worry about Toxic Shock Syndrome and you will not have the feeling that you're walking around with a surf board between your legs.
Mooncup is safer and its cheaper and its environmentally friendly! With everyone going "green" its the way to go.
Made from medical grade silicone, the Mooncup is latex-free and contains no dyes, toxins or bleaches. It’s also great for women with sensitive skin and who are prone to getting regular infections.
On average, one woman will use over 11,000 tampons or pads in their lifetime, which will ultimately end up in landfill or in the sea.
With the Mooncup Menstrual Cup, you do not have to worry about Toxic Shock Syndrome and you will not have the feeling that you're walking around with a surf board between your legs.
Mooncup is safer and its cheaper and its environmentally friendly! With everyone going "green" its the way to go.
Made from medical grade silicone, the Mooncup is latex-free and contains no dyes, toxins or bleaches. It’s also great for women with sensitive skin and who are prone to getting regular infections.
On average, one woman will use over 11,000 tampons or pads in their lifetime, which will ultimately end up in landfill or in the sea.
One woman uses up to 22 items of sanitary protection every period. Regardless of your flow, you only need one Mooncup, and it lasts for years and years, making it the most economical sanitary product you can buy.
Unlike pads or tampons, because the Mooncup menstrual cup is reusable you eliminate the need to carry bulky spares. With proper care your Mooncup will last for several years. I've had mine for over 7 years now and its still perfect.
Go check out The Mooncup and make the change today.
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